Trenton , NJ USA
To: Salvadoran Employees
From: Human Resources Department
Subject: New Policy using the Spanish language during working hours.
1) Words like 'puta', 'hijueputa' and other such expressions will not be used for emphasis, no matter how heated the discussion may get.
2) Non-important matters should not be addressed to as 'mierda'
3) You will not say 'la cagó' when someone makes a mistake, or 'la cagaron' if you see someone being reprimanded. All forms and derivates of the word 'cagar' are inappropriate in our environment.
4) Lack of determination will not be referred to as 'falta de huevos' or 'culeradas', not will a person with lack of initiative be referred to as 'maricon', 'culey' or 'comemierda'.
5) No manager or supervisor, under any circumstances, will not be referred to as 'ese careverga, or 'ese maricón'.
6) When a good proposal is presented, the term 'está paloma' must no be used.
7) Unusual or creative brainstorming meeting will not be referred to as 'diarreas mentales'.
8) Do not say 'como jode' if a person is persistent, or 'se jodió' if somebody is going through a difficult situation. Furthermore, you must not say 'quijueputa' or 'me vale verga' when matter become complicated in your line of work.
9) When asking someone to leave alone, you should not say 'váyase a la mierda', or will you substitute '¿qué putas quiere?' for 'May I help you?'.
10) When leaving the office, using the term 'me voy, malparidos de mierda' is not proper.
11) When any office equipment fails, it must be reported as 'it brokes down', not 'sizo mierda' or se jodió esta mierda'.
12) Last but not least, after reading this memo, please do not say, 'me limpio el culo con esto'. Just keep it clean and file properly.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Human Resource Department.