I have problems to describe the situation I've been going through as of late. It feels like... I don't really know what's going on! It doesn't even matter you think you're right but time stays still. Ever had that awful feeling like everything is falling apart and you cannot do squat to prevent it? No?! Well, you guys are lucky then!
It's kinda confusing. I feel deranged, in need of a hand to lead me through these dark path. Unfortunately I'm lacking or missing one bridge to cross that endless abyss of my depression. I wish I could find it soon, real quick because either I start climbing back to the top or I get used to this hell on earth. Looking at the bright side there's only one way after you hit rock bottom and that is up. This is a long fucking hard road!
What is the only thing that will remain forever? Well, quoting Aldous Huxley "A belief in hell and the knowledge that every ambition is doomed to frustration at the hands of a skeleton have never prevented the majority of human beings from behaving as though death were no more than an unfounded rumor". I've been pushed into this mental exile but I'm willing to overcome the situation. It's a matter of attitude (I want to believe) Now I need to pack my joys, wishes and visions to take a leap of faith and begin to believe again in myself. I just have to rest a bit, wait for another day to maintain my spirits high and keep trying in my sisyphical quest.